Nov 1 - We have to deal with this sometime

[did_good]

"What do you mean you can't pick her up?" Tosh sighs as the woman from Take a Paws explains that one of their handlers is sick that day, and there's no one available to do puppy care. "Of course. No, of course I understand. It happens. But if someone comes in later?"

She says it hopefully, knowing that Mitsuki might be happy and asleep at her feet right now, but that it won't last for long. Once Owen comes in and sees the six month old Akita there, she's sure he'll object. But there's nothing to be done, she agrees as she hangs up the phone. It's her dog and she has to deal with it.

"Please don't come in today," she says to herself, under her breath as she starts matching up all the names of those who've returned from this other Darrow. "Let something go my way."

Comments

[did_good]

That wasn't entirely unexpected, though how quickly he got to it did surprise her. It's sidestepped their conversation of the other day, but she can't say she's upset about that at all. "I was thinking that. Do you think that you could? There's only one tablet."

[beat_death]

"It's worth a shot," he replies, because even if he hasn't exactly come up with a process to replicate the pill yet, he thinks that the potential benefits of having a supply of retcon outweigh the risks of having none at all.

Worst case scenario, they'll just be back to where they were before. Or where Owen thought they were before.

[did_good]

"We'd have to test it one someone," that's something she's not entirely comfortable with if she's honest. "Which could be complicated, especially if it doesn't work the way it should."

[beat_death]

Owen hasn't thought completely through the testing phase, his train of thought barreling straight through to what they'll be able to do once he's perfected it. He frowns, then glances toward the door.

"What are your thoughts on animal testing?" he asks, and he's only half joking.

[did_good]

Tosh grimaces, her coffee down on the table. "It's better than human testing, I suppose. Not as reliable when it comes to getting the reactions we need. At first, with safety, perhaps, but to know if the memory alteration works?"

Tosh picks her coffee back up. "We'd need human subjects for that."

[beat_death]

He considers her comment for a moment. There's the option of testing on one of the city's residents, one of the ones who thinks they've always been there, but he's not sure if he likes that option. Too many ways for it to go south if he gets the dosage wrong.

"I'll test it on myself," he decides, "I'll be the subject."

[did_good]

"Which would mean if something did go wrong who would we have able to fix it? No." Tosh hisses out the last word, leaning close so as to not have to raise her voice. "We'll come up with another plan/"

[beat_death]

"If you've got another option, then let's hear it," Owen replies, his voice calm and quiet. Because the only other thing he can think of is taking someone hostage. He's pretty sure that no one's going to willingly offer themselves up to be his guinea pig.

[did_good]

Grabbing someone off the street isn’t acceptable to her. Nor is testing someone unwillingly, not until they know they have the mix right.
 
“Test it on me.” It makes sense to her, is the only logical answer. “You’re the Doctor, you’re the one who needs to monitor the effects, and fix things if something goes wrong.”
 

[beat_death]

"No. Not happening," Owen replies, almost trampling over Tosh's words as he protests. Up until this moment, there had been no doubt in his mind whether or not he'd be able to do it, but now the idea of testing it on Tosh makes him doubt himself.

[did_good]

"It makes sense," she knows it's the logical solution, knows that he'll not try it it unless he's sure. Tosh believes in his abilities without question, never having doubted that. "I trust you."

[beat_death]

"You're sure about that?" he asks, because he knows how long it's been since he's done any of that sort of work. Even longer than the months he's been in Darrow. And even before he'd left Cardiff, Jack had essentially relegated him to the role of 'office boy.'

[did_good]

"It's the best option that we have. We can't kidnap someone off the street, and I can't help if something goes wrong with you." It's just how it is, and either they accept it or they won't be able to move forward. "You can do this."

[beat_death]

Owen pauses for a long moment, hands wrapped around his cup on the table in front of him. He frowns. Even if it's the best option they have, he still doesn't like the sound of it.

"You've had your memory screwed around with enough." he decides.

[did_good]

"And you've not? We've all had things happen to us, Owen." It's not as if he hasn't taken retcon himself. Tosh has decided too, and she's stubborn too. "It's the only way we can make it work. Unless you find a volunteer."

[beat_death]

"But I'm not the one who most recently went on about not wanting themselves retconned," Owen replies.

He remembers the first time Jack kicked him out of Torchwood though, and how fucking terrifying it was knowing that he was about to lose the last few years of his life and there wasn't a thing he could do to stop it.

[did_good]

"You're right. But that wasn't real was it?" Tosh shrugs, setting her mug down on the table. She's decided as much as he has and now it's down to seeing who can out-stubborn the other. "I should let it go."

[beat_death]

Maybe Tosh thinks she's decided, but Owen's not willing to give in quite so easily.

"Right. Because the way to do that is through experimental drug trials," he replies, tone dry, "I don't know what I was thinking."

[did_good]

"If it works how it's supposed to, it shouldn't go back that far." And if it doesn't there's a chance she'll forget everything about being here, possibly more. "So you'll just have to get it right."

[beat_death]

If.

A word so small shouldn't feel quite so ominous. A few years ago, it wouldn't have. Owen wouldn't have given this a second thought, would have been so confident in his own success that he might've already agreed and started preparing his lab space in the basement for it.

There's a lot to say about what dying does to a person.

And it's not that Owen thinks he's not capable of determining whether or not something he synthesizes is lethal-- he's no novice-- but he wonders if this is a bit like Tosh stepping in front of Copley's gun instead of him, as ridiculous as it might seem.

"Why?" he asks her, leaning in, "You've got some idea of what could happen if I don't manage to get it right. Why risk it?"

[did_good]

What does she have to lose?

It's a question she won't ask him, there's no point, she's sure he knows on some level. "Because it makes more sense."

It's the story that Tosh will stick to, no matter how hard she presses him. "If something happens to you, there's no way I can make it right. Not without a lot of explanation to other doctors, and maybe not even then."

[beat_death]

"What do I have to say to get you to give on this?" Owen finally asks, done talking round in circles, the two of them saying the same thing over and over again, neither of them willing to give in to the other.

They could continue on with this until they're both blue in the face.

[did_good]

"What do I have to tell you for you to understand I know what I'm agreeing to. I know what could happen. It's fine."

Fine. Such an innocuous word, in no way encompassing what either of them meant. "You know I'm right."

[beat_death]

"Alright." Owen says, and his voice is quiet as he frowns down at his cup. He hates to concede the point, hates to give in, but it looks like that's the only way that this is going to go.

"But I don't have to like it."

[did_good]

"It's better you don't." She's drunk as much of her coffee as she's going to, and Mitsuki is still outside. "Then you'll do your best to make sure it's right when we try it."